My friend Patrick Mayo is going to be giving me some prompts to make me actually write on my blog, and he gave me this one. The thing is this has been on my mind like crazy because I just finished my internship working with LDS Family Services working with birth mothers for adoption, and because my 16 year old cousin who used to live with me is getting married. I feel I probably have a different perspective of both of these things than most others. At my internship and several other times I would hear from the mothers of these girls and from people in general that they would ground their daughter forever if she got pregnant out of wedlock, Or that they would disown their pregnant daughter, and non relatives say that they tend to ignore those girls.. All of these options that so many seem to take when someone does become pregnant out of wedlock definitely leave something to be desired to me. These girls must have been lacking something they were missing- and they sought out something- anything to fill that void in their life. They may have done something wrong and definitely not what others had planned for them, but who hasn't made mistakes before? Their mistake led to something that they will be paying heavily for the rest of their life. Even if a girl places the child for adoption this will still be a huge weight on her the rest of her life. She needs so much support-not constant talk of how others are disappointed in her. Girls who place children for adoption are giving up something that is natural for them to love so much, most likely more than anyone else they have ever loved. For these girls they still will generally have that bond that a mother has with her child. Can you imagine placing your child for adoption? Or even trying to make that decision? For me if I ever was in that situation( which I definitely don't plan on being) I really don't think I'm strong enough to place my child for adoption. I don't think I would be strong enough to go on living a successful life after the sorrow of giving up my child. For all these reasons I just wish that more support would be given to these women. Who feel like they have no way out and are paying the ultimate price for their mistakes. In regards to teenage marriage, these girls obviously felt that that person filled some part of their life that wasn't filled before. When I think back to the first time I thought I was in love, I think of how most girls think the same as I thought when I was young, that it would be that person I was really crazy about . For my cousin I know she had a lot of family struggles and when someone comes along who supports her more than anyone ever has and pays more attention to her then anyone else, there obviously is going to be a strong desire to make that "love" official. Anyway so my hope is just that more love and support could be given to these struggling girls. Just some Social Workers rantings.
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6 years ago
2 comments:
Interesting. Good stuff. You're absolutely correct about the way the girls are treated - they may have made mistakes, but who hasn't and why should the girls have their parents or others railing them more than they are railing themselves for their errors? As the Savior said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
I completely agree with what you said Courtney! Support and love are the ultimate and most needed thing those girls need! I think that sometimes teenage girls get married also because their families only give them the choice of marriage or adoption. I am so glad and jealous you got to do your internship with LDSFS!
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