Doing Something

As I look for a job in Social Work I've been thinking a lot about the things I learned and what really impacted me when I was receiving my education. The thing about Social Work classes especially at an LDS School is that you are essentially learning how to lift those that others would typically ignore. I had so many lessons especially from my favorite professor Brother Shenton, that taught me how to really love. I have been able to meet through my jobs/internships so many people that have been ignored and rejected of men. And through them I was able to see the real glory of God. I have been able to see and hear of miracles happening in peoples lives when someone just one person comes and tries to lift up the weak and feeble knees. And in reality those doing the lifting up are being lifted up themselves and realizing how much love you can feel for a person you previously would have been afraid to talk to . I hope this year I can have many opportunities to lift up the feeble knees and be able to see a change of heart in myself as a result.

New Year New Life

This last year has been a whirlwind in my life. From the beginning and ending of relationships, school, new places and new faces it has all been an adventure. The new year is always a great time to reexamine and to set new goals. This year I feel I am in particular need of some extreme and drastic goals.This last year was rough for me in a lot of ways so I feel like I'm still reeling from that. So in order to get my life back to where I want it to be I've already started and I'm feeling so much better about where things are going! Seriously it feels so good to get your life on track and make it even better then before it started slipping. So some things I'm going to work on....
1. Don't look back. There was a Mormon message type video about Lots wife . And it got me thinking that in everything we do and the disappointments and struggles in our lives- we often look back on things and dwell on them which makes the negative impact from them even greater. If we are so focused on how a relationship ended or how we could have done better on an class we took 3 years ago we are stunting our growth by focusing on things we cant change, when we could be focusing on things we actually have in our control now.http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessages
2. Be redicuoulsy happy!!! I love being happy and I love doing what makes me happy. But like anyone else sometimes I let my happiness be affected by how others treat me or by situations. A newspaper article my mom gave me when I went to college about dating the right people and becoming the right person to date said essentially that dont ever let your life get to the point where only another person can make you happy. And dont let anyone tell you that you are the only one that can make you happy. Happiness  doesnt come with situations, people, money or anything else. It is a state of being- So I'm going to make it my mission this year to keep being my redicously happy self and to not let even for a moment the outside forces try and make there way in and ruin my happiness.
3. Further commit myself to strengtheneing my testimony and others. Ok so I am so greatful to be a member of the true church and for the knowledge I have of my Savior. But I am totally slacking on sharing it with others!! Man seriously. The thing that helped me realize that the most was a friend I was able to spend a few weeks with this summer in California and Vegas. His name is Travis and never in my life have I met someeone who incorporated missionary work so much into his everyday life. Every morning he prayed to have a missionary experience and everyday I was with him we did! It was amazing. He had been off his mission for a few years and still was so set on sharing the gospel with everyone he met. I have never had the chance to share my testimony with so many nonmembers and while I was slightly uncomfortable I realized that I shouldnt be. The gospel is the greatest thing in my life and I should never be hesitant to share it with everyone I meet.
4.Help my  health. This last year I realized how much my mental state of mind affects my physical health. And when I date people I dont want to be with, or am doing things against my beleiefs or what I really want to be doing with my life my physical health suffers. And thats what most people dont realize. If you are menatlly healthy your physical helath will imporve and vice versa. I have never felt quite as healthy as I did Summer of 09 when i was bike riding 20 miles every other day and 50ish every weekend and doing yoga. I felt so good and this all contributed to my happiness. I want to get back to that point of pushing myself physically and mentally. Because I have way to much energy to waste it sitting in front of the tv or doing other things of that sort.

Well those are the main ones, and I'm hoping that this year brings about a lot of advancement in my career as well. I'm so grateful that the new year has come and for all the opportunities and blessings I feel that I get every year. People ask how I've been able to have some of the experiences I've had- I joke that its luck but I know its really just my Heavenly Father looking out for me and deciding to bless me even when I don'treally deserve it :) May this year bring all of you everything you need, and may it be an incredible life changing experience.

Why I love BYU-Idaho

So I have been missing being a student and being at BYU-Idaho these last few days pretty badly. People who haven't been there don't really understand. So here's some things that I learned and things that I just love about BYUI.
- My testimony grew a million times what it was when I was in High School. The place has the spirit everywhere. Plus you feel a great sense of responsibility to be the best you can when your gaining an amazing education that is at the Lords University.
-I love how the Rexburg temple is visible everywhere! It is so beautiful, and the fact that it was a 20 minute walk tops from any place I lived in Rexburg is just amazing.
-The quiet places on campus. Where it felt like just you and the Spirit. Like on the middle part of the Hinkeley where there's the huge window and couches that look out over all of Rexburg. I love those spots I would spend time at when I had to stay on campus late into the night.
-The people! Wow I made so many lifelong friends at school. People who really changed my life. The girls that were my roommates throughout the semesters uplifted and encouraged me to be something I didn't even think I could be. Not one semester I was at school was I not inspired or learn something powerful from the girls I lived with. We had amazing times, from camping, staying up late, or giving each other facials and pedicures living with strong Lds women can be such a great opportunity to really learn what "Sisters in Zion" means.
-The snow. Really I'm not kidding. Walking home late at night in the complete silence with the snow falling around me were times when I received some of the greatest revelations about my life. And getting kisses in the snow is wonderful :)
-Stadium Singing! For those of you who dont know what that is, basically tons of people meet under the stadium every single Sunday night, rain, snow, or shine and sing hymns a Capella and it is the most beautiful thing.
-Dating. Considering myself someone who experienced BYUI dating more than most anyone- haha totally serious- I love how good so many of the guys are. I feel blessed for most of the relationships with guys who had strong testimonies. Even though anyone who knows me knows that I'm slightly fed up with dating as this point- I am grateful that my time at BYUI taught me that dating can be wholesome and incredibly beautiful. Falling in love there more than once was a great thing-even though those relationships ended , I will never forget how magical some of the moments I had there were.
-Pretty much everything -except the expectation to get married before graduation.I'm still waiting for my refund :)

Merrily we fall out of line

Tell me what I'm looking for

So since I'm officially done with college now I'm told I'm supposed to get a real job and settle down and do those things that grown up supposedly do. I currently don't know what I'm doing with my life and have always lived extremely spontaneously and haphazardly especially these last few years. I seriously have spent these last few years not knowing where in the world my life would be the next day. I had so many huge changes and times in my life these last few years where it seriously was a complete turn around in my life path in one days time (if any of you know me really well remember back in April? Yep that almost move to Northern California all night drive and the complete change of my life at 5 in the morning? thank goodness Heavenly Father helps me at all hours of the day because I cant believe I made it through that transition). I've felt like its all been a whirlwind and to be honest this last year which has had the most intense, dramatic and emotionally draining experiences of all has worn me out and left me feeling like its hard to make plans and that i still have no idea what I need. My good friend Kyle Wismer ( who has been there with me through some of the craziest times of my life, and seen the ups and downs of my relationships with a certain two boys) told me he knew what I'm looking for. He quite simply said "You need stability. Just not in the form most think. You're an awesome girl, who is all over the place. Likes to be spontaneous. But you still want and need something stable and reliable in your life". Ok seriously I said Kyle you are always there to give deep insight and most people don't know that about him. I've gone so long living crazily going from insane relationship to another, having life plans be completely unstable, and living everyday like its just a complete party. Of course I'm spontaneous and I always will be but I need just one thing in my life thats stable-besides the gospel of course. Because without any sort of stability it leaves me feeling confused, at a loss and unable to make a decision because I have no idea what my future holds. Now I just need to find that something stable and reliable, because I love doing whatever I feel like, having adventures and living life a little on the edge but I need something that grounds me. Guess that's what I really am looking for- thanks Kyle

I know I know everyone does these, but its late and I'm bored

What was the last movie you watched?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part 1 last night at the midnight showing and it was truly amazing, I dont know why I get so into those movies
Siblings
Older sister whos married with 3 kids, older brother and a younger 17 year old sister

What are you listening to right now?
Vitamin String Quartet- I love their work
Have you been burned by love?
I think I might do more of the burning, although recently I felt burnt even though I was the one who ended it, felt frustrated with him and how we ended up treating each other.
What do you consider a vacation?
I consider spending lazy days or crazy fun packed days anywhere vacation. Pretty much anytime I don't have to work or worry.

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
Not really sure- dont really hear that often
What is your favorite pizza topping?
MMMMM I love pizza, i lived off little Caesars in college, but I love Mediterranean  kind, or really any different kind with interesting toppings
Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes ask my mom how annoying it is
What song do you hate the most?
Anything screamo or really emo
What’s your most annoying habit?
My complete inability to focus on one thing at once
What is your best physical feature? 
I've been told my stomach is good
What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
Milk, ranch and jam
What superstition do you believe/practice?
I always touch the roof in my car anytime I run a yellow light.
Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
A bird all the way, flying would be so much more interesting, who wants to be stuck in a bowel all day? or be limited to blue darkness?
If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
Back to college and live it a little differently
If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
 
A man I'm in love with
If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?
I love Kate Beckinsale, but she's probably not eradic enough to play me
Coffee or Tea

Herbal tea- i drink Mint kind all the time
Favorite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert?
David Archuletta! I know soooo lame sounding but you had to be there. I've seen him twice and he has an amazing spirit about him
Do you talk to yourself?
Yes at least in my head, sometimes if I deserve it I'll do it when I'm being retarded out loud, or when I'm studying.
What was the last thing you ate?
Frozen yougurt with tons of delicious toppings yum :).
If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Can I be a rainbow one? I'm way to indecisive to pick one
Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
Patrick
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Personality/body
Have you ever cried for no reason?
Duh I'm a girl it happens all the time
Favorite Day of the Year?
Christmas day I love the feeling of hanging around with the family and all the excitement and then the relaxation afterwards
Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
Yessir

Hugs or Kisses?
Why cant I choose both? What about hugging and kissing like crazy at the same time?
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate of course vanilla is boring
Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
Buttered yummmy 
Favorite flower?
Sunflowers so beautiful and we had these huge ones in my backyard as a little girl
Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
My main best friend  I've known forever and I'm still friends with her
Do you like to travel by plane?
of course it means I'm either going home or going somewhere new and exciting :)
Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right
How many pillows do you sleep with?
2 one head pillow and one big humongous body pillow
Are you missing someone?
Ya but trying really hard to stop
Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was in the 7th grade driving to middle school

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Get a little annoyed and possibly nag someone about getting my money back
Do you trust people easily?
Yes but that doesnt really mean I tell them my secrets it takes me awhile for people to know where I've been
If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish and French
Are you touchy feely?
Yes definetly especially in relationships
Showers or Baths?
Both, Although I haven't had a bath in forever, i love a hot shower after I've been out in the cold all night.
Where would you rather be right now?
Some foreign country with someone I love
What’s your main ring tone on your mobile?
California knows how to party
What did the last text on your cellphone say?
“Still here"! in response to a text I sent about how a party went
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own, it has missed me so
What is your favorite part of the chicken
Not a huge chicken fan
Worst injury you’ve ever had?
 Bradshaw's dont get hurt lol
What song do you want played at your funeral?
Nearer my God to thee
Dream job?
Working with the homeless as a Social worker and actually making decent money doing it and being able to see some sort of positive difference

Things I love right now

Books that blow your mind and expand your understanding of the world
Rain in the Las Vegas Desert
Laughing hysterically at absolutely  nothing with one of my besties
My major/future career, I'm so grateful that I  was able to know what I needed to major in so soon after I started school, and that I've been able to feel the constant assurance that its what I'm supposed to be doing. I love that it is one of the few things that can grab my full attention and that helps me actually feel productive.
My Journals-looking back even a few months ago I am amazed at the place I was at in my life at that time
Ceiling Fans, It was strange at school I rarely feel home sick, and then I got an apartment that had ceiling fans and as soon as I turned one on one day I immediately felt home sick
Family, I get to see them in a few days! And I'm going on a cruise with my sister and her family which will be awesome. It really is perfect timing because I told myself at the beginning of this year that I would use my passport by the end of the year, and now I get to :)

Just thinking how fast my life is going by. In a few weeks I will be done with my internship here at LDS family Services. I have loved working in adoption its always interesting but I still think I want to go into mental health. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do after this internship And the answer is I still have no idea. Whether I go travel the world, get some sort of Social Work job, get my masters, I really have no idea. But it will be fun whatever it is I'm sure!!