Prone to Wander: Valentines day-LOVE????

So one of my friends told me to write about what my deal is with commitment as in with relationships. So I figured it worked perfectly now because Valentines day is in a few days. First of all I love love, I really do, and I spent seriously almost all of my college years in one really serious relationship or another. So I'm no stranger to having pretty committed relationships. In the last 3 and a half years I have had 5 serious boyfriends tell me they wanted to marry me all of them perfectly wonderful guys, and I'm a 21 year old Mormon girl who thinks marriage would be a great thing, so why am I still single? Well there was one of those boyfriends that I actually really thought for a long time that I should marry. But even with him eventually the "there's something wrong with this even though I dont know what it is so I have to get out" feeling came. Now I've had the horrible sick to my stomach panic when I've thought about marrying guys before, with him that sick to my stomach feeling came and then it was became even worse when I thought about not being with him. But as most things in my life go, Heavenly Father has later showed me why I couldn't marry him. Its strange people tend to think that people who have a fear of commitment have experienced lots of people breaking up with them and things like that. . I haven't had that but know what pain from relationships feels like. I don't like it and am at peace that its just not my time yet.. And it wont be until I can actually not be afraid of letting them see all of me and look me in the eyes and not look away. I love love but think about a lot more things when it comes to marrying someone besides just if I love them. I think that when making a decision about eternity, you cant just jump into it willy nilly, and even if you feel so good about who that person is now, you have to listen to the spirit because you never know who that person might become. I don't want to have to go through the pain or anything similar to what happened earlier last year, I don't want anymore hearts to be broken. So until I meet the guy that I don't get the sinking feeling with then I'm just going to keep making myself the person I want to be for the guy I'll be with forever. :) I'm not afraid of commitment just have experienced lots of love in my life and I refuse to settle for something less then amazing- because I know that that's out there for me.

Now heres some things I think of when I think of love and what it means to me...

San Diego LDS Temple

My Beautiful nieces and nephews!!

I have lots of opinions and I date guys who are just as strong willed as me so my relationships tend to be kinda like the relationship in the The Notebook. Ridiculous I know.